Mental Toughness: Staying In Control
Interview w/ Rod Gaspar, a lifelong competitor (and member of the World Series '69 N.Y. Mets)
Rod Gaspar is a former standout college, minor league and professional baseball player. He has a World Series ring to prove it. Rod is a lifelong competitor and was raised with a tough view of the game--whatever game it happens to be. He is currently a nationally highly-ranked handball player.
Q: How did you prepare physically for your United States Handball Association Four-Wall Tournament matches?
RG: I did 30-60 minute sessions of intense cardio on an elliptical machine, and played handball 2-3 times a week leading up to the tournament.
Q: How do you prepare mentally?
RG: By the time the tournament starts, I go into it thinking I can beat anyone.
Q: Are these the same psyching techniques you used as a pro baseball player?
RG: Similar. But handball is such a physically demanding game, so it has a different type of mental challenge. The game of handball is relentless mentally and physically. Baseball allows for breaks to gather yourself.
Q: They are long tournaments. At 60 years old how do you deal with the physical and mental fatigue?
RG: If I think I'm tired I'm tired. Sometimes mentally no matter how hard I try to push past the fatigue my body says "no." I had to learn to accept that. Sometimes my competitor wins.
Q: What percentage of your game is physical and what percent is mental?
RG: I couldn't say. I do know this: all things being equal, whoever is mentally tougher is going to win--most of the time.
Q: How do you stay focused?
RG: It can be difficult in a long ballgame or handball tournament to maintain concentration. My style has always been to take the competition head-on and try to get it over as quickly as possible.
Q: How do you usually react if you make a mistake during a game?
RG: If you're smart, you'll learn from it and move on.
Q: As a serious competitor, do you always compete to be the best?
RG: I just love to compete. It's a fun process. But it's important to realize that you're not going to be the best at everything--in life or athletics.
Q: Where do you get your drive?
RG: I have a very intense nature.
Q: Where does that "nature" come from and where does it go during the game?
RG: It has a lot to do with how I was raised. Growing up in the 50's and 60's, my parents were blue collar, hard-nosed loving people. By being small for my age (at 16 I was 5'2", 105lbs.) I was competing against bigger boys. I could hang in there with them, but I wasn't an exceptional talent, until 19-20 years old. By then my confidence in my baseball abilities had skyrocketed.
After I signed my first professional baseball contract the confidence level increased even more as I progressed through the New York Mets system. That confidence and my athletic ability has helped me tremendously in handball. Competing at the major league level has helped give me the confidence to know that I can compete with the best in handball as well.
My attitude is I am going to win and most of the time that happens.
Q: What mental game techniques do you use to control your competitiveness?
RG: Practice your skills until they become automatic. I use Relaxed Concentration, a technique that helps relax my breathing and intensify my focus.
email: athletewhisperer@gmail.com
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Tuesday, January 9, 2007
4 NEW GOALS
A local cutting-edge magazine wanted me to analyze the Resolutions of four people. The goals were expresed as these:
1) Pass the Bar examine
2) Learn Italian
3) Refuse to make one because I don't want to fail
4) Graduate college
Some people call them "New Year's Resolutions." Let's look at them as typical new goals. Break them down this way: Goal/Motive/Plan.
Pass the Bar after investing $100,000 and three years........With this type of "advancement" goal you have to visualize the big picture. See it. Feel it. Make it your movie. Taste the success. Smell the $$$. Ask yourself "How will passing the Bar benefit me and others? Be honest. Write down how you will contribute. Find out how you learn best. Are you tactile (flash cards around your room), visual (a class) or auditory (CDs in your car). Study using your strongest modality.
Learn Italian so I'll be ready when I go someday........Too broad of a goal. The "someday" weakens the purpose. The chances of accomplishing this goal have already been diminished. If we do not have many reasons to act on something, the action can break down over time. Reframe this way: Learn Italian because it can lead to learning other languages and more international travel, which I love.
Graduate college because I don't want to be here forever..........Better to reframe into a positive statement by just dropping the second part. To accomplish this type of goal don't overload your classes or assignments because of outside pressures. Keep in mind why you want to accomplish this goal--For the grand party after? Because your big sister didn't? To feel proud of yourself? You're ready to start the career you've always dreamed of? Put your reasons on wall and look at them everyday. Lose outside distractions and maintain focus. Be a "student," one who is an attentive observer.
Don't want to make one so I don't fail again..........Nothing happens without action. And, we are the sum of our actions. Not acting for fear of failure is a safe, secure limiting belief. Do you know what "security" is? Security is the person who guards the corndogs at 2am at the Quickie Mart. Pick something you can accomplish NOW; ONE HOUR FROM NOW; NEXT WEEK. Do these things, that's your resolution! Good job! That's the path to success.
Email: athletewhisperer@gmail.com
1) Pass the Bar examine
2) Learn Italian
3) Refuse to make one because I don't want to fail
4) Graduate college
Some people call them "New Year's Resolutions." Let's look at them as typical new goals. Break them down this way: Goal/Motive/Plan.
Pass the Bar after investing $100,000 and three years........With this type of "advancement" goal you have to visualize the big picture. See it. Feel it. Make it your movie. Taste the success. Smell the $$$. Ask yourself "How will passing the Bar benefit me and others? Be honest. Write down how you will contribute. Find out how you learn best. Are you tactile (flash cards around your room), visual (a class) or auditory (CDs in your car). Study using your strongest modality.
Learn Italian so I'll be ready when I go someday........Too broad of a goal. The "someday" weakens the purpose. The chances of accomplishing this goal have already been diminished. If we do not have many reasons to act on something, the action can break down over time. Reframe this way: Learn Italian because it can lead to learning other languages and more international travel, which I love.
Graduate college because I don't want to be here forever..........Better to reframe into a positive statement by just dropping the second part. To accomplish this type of goal don't overload your classes or assignments because of outside pressures. Keep in mind why you want to accomplish this goal--For the grand party after? Because your big sister didn't? To feel proud of yourself? You're ready to start the career you've always dreamed of? Put your reasons on wall and look at them everyday. Lose outside distractions and maintain focus. Be a "student," one who is an attentive observer.
Don't want to make one so I don't fail again..........Nothing happens without action. And, we are the sum of our actions. Not acting for fear of failure is a safe, secure limiting belief. Do you know what "security" is? Security is the person who guards the corndogs at 2am at the Quickie Mart. Pick something you can accomplish NOW; ONE HOUR FROM NOW; NEXT WEEK. Do these things, that's your resolution! Good job! That's the path to success.
Email: athletewhisperer@gmail.com
Friday, December 15, 2006
WHO DO YOU ADMIRE?
Erik Flowers, "The Athlete Whisperer"
The following worksheet aligns you with the athletes you admire most.
1. Write down all the personal attributes you can think of that make a champion.
2. Write your own sports history in exactly 250 words.
3. Write down three players you admire most, then add your name to the list.
4. Write down three things you admire about these particular three players.
5. Write down three things you admire about yourself as an athlete.
Examine what you've done here. Look where you have to go to get where they are as champions and top athletes. Remember this: They've all been where you are now. Know this: You can get there too.
Email: athletewhisperer@gmail.com
Thursday, December 14, 2006
20 INSTANT TIPS FOR A BETTER PERFORMANCE IN SPORTS (AND LIFE)
In the following, the words "life" and "sport" and "performance" are interchangeable.
Recipe: Take one of these every morning, put it in a bowl, dribble some water on top, place the bowl in the microwave and zap for one minute, and start your day with instant Betterment!
1. Know the truest, most foundational reason why you are performing or playing your sport.
2. Realize you can only control about 10% of your performance and the rest is just distraction.
3. Admit you don't know everything about your sport.
4. Find your optimal performance number.
5. Set specific measureable, attainable, realistic short-term and long-term goals.
6. If you are a parent, let your kids play without judgments, attachments, comparisons, constant coaching, anger, embarrassment, or future significance.
7. Answer this question: Do you like to win more, or do you hate to lose more?
8. Know that everyone gets nervous, loses site of their original goal, feels game pressure, loses focus, and let their emotions take over.
9. Visualize your event from start to finish; then from finish to start; then in slow motion; and in complete detail.
10. Know your equipment as if it is a part of your body.
11. Change negative self-talk to positive simply by adding "but I will do better this time."
12. Peak performance is 50% visualization; 40% practice; 10% execution.
13. Drive + Habit = Performance
14. Perform as if you are one of your heroes.
15. Practice like you want to play, play like it's practice.
16. Always want your opponent to play their best.
17. Mastery of anything takes 10,000 hours.
18. You can control your effort, but not the outcome of your efforts.
19. Pull back your performance to a 80-90% level to allow your mind to work instinctively.
20. Review your wins and loses, then move on.
Email: athletewhisperer@gmail.com
Recipe: Take one of these every morning, put it in a bowl, dribble some water on top, place the bowl in the microwave and zap for one minute, and start your day with instant Betterment!
1. Know the truest, most foundational reason why you are performing or playing your sport.
2. Realize you can only control about 10% of your performance and the rest is just distraction.
3. Admit you don't know everything about your sport.
4. Find your optimal performance number.
5. Set specific measureable, attainable, realistic short-term and long-term goals.
6. If you are a parent, let your kids play without judgments, attachments, comparisons, constant coaching, anger, embarrassment, or future significance.
7. Answer this question: Do you like to win more, or do you hate to lose more?
8. Know that everyone gets nervous, loses site of their original goal, feels game pressure, loses focus, and let their emotions take over.
9. Visualize your event from start to finish; then from finish to start; then in slow motion; and in complete detail.
10. Know your equipment as if it is a part of your body.
11. Change negative self-talk to positive simply by adding "but I will do better this time."
12. Peak performance is 50% visualization; 40% practice; 10% execution.
13. Drive + Habit = Performance
14. Perform as if you are one of your heroes.
15. Practice like you want to play, play like it's practice.
16. Always want your opponent to play their best.
17. Mastery of anything takes 10,000 hours.
18. You can control your effort, but not the outcome of your efforts.
19. Pull back your performance to a 80-90% level to allow your mind to work instinctively.
20. Review your wins and loses, then move on.
Email: athletewhisperer@gmail.com
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM YOUR SPORT?
Okay, you've written down your short-term, intermediate, and long-term goals. And you're very clear on why you are playing. So, what do you want from your sport? Ever ask that one?
How is that different from your motive for playing? You're motive is an all-encompassing drive. It's your motor, your purpose for playing. But your Wants are pieces of that puzzle too. What do you Want--
> now
> tomorrow
> this season
> your career
> most privately
> considered "impossible"
Your Wants will affect those around you. As you succeed in your sport, what do you Want from your--
> mate
> spirituality
> family
What do you Want from YOURSELF?
Don't wish it, yearn for it, prey for it, pine for it, beg, scream or be determined to fight for it. Simply be honest with yourself. Don't explain it, excuse it, apologize for it, give reasons for it, and most importantly--don't share it with others. Your Wants are YOUR Wants.
Take your list and ask "Why?" to each Want. Break it down. Make sure your get to the bottom of it; the pure, unadulterated, unpolluted truth. Keep the process positive.
Thinking about each one for 16-20 seconds is enough to send a message into the cosmos.
Acknowledging your Wants is a kind of selfish allowance. It's positve feedback with positve payback.
How is that different from your motive for playing? You're motive is an all-encompassing drive. It's your motor, your purpose for playing. But your Wants are pieces of that puzzle too. What do you Want--
> now
> tomorrow
> this season
> your career
> most privately
> considered "impossible"
Your Wants will affect those around you. As you succeed in your sport, what do you Want from your--
> mate
> spirituality
> family
What do you Want from YOURSELF?
Don't wish it, yearn for it, prey for it, pine for it, beg, scream or be determined to fight for it. Simply be honest with yourself. Don't explain it, excuse it, apologize for it, give reasons for it, and most importantly--don't share it with others. Your Wants are YOUR Wants.
Take your list and ask "Why?" to each Want. Break it down. Make sure your get to the bottom of it; the pure, unadulterated, unpolluted truth. Keep the process positive.
Thinking about each one for 16-20 seconds is enough to send a message into the cosmos.
Acknowledging your Wants is a kind of selfish allowance. It's positve feedback with positve payback.
Know them
Acknowledge them
Send them out into the world!
Email: athletewhisperer@gmail.com
Thursday, December 7, 2006
CONTROL FACTORS
Do you agree:
YOU CAN ONLY CONTROL ABOUT 10% OF THE NOISES AROUND YOU.
Would you say:
YOU CAN ONLY CONTROL ABOUT 10% OF PEOPLE'S REACTIONS TO YOU.
Do you believe like I do:
YOU CAN ONLY CONTROL ABOUT 10% OF YOUR OWN LIFE.
And:
YOU CAN ONLY CONTROL ABOUT 10% OF YOUR SPORT.
I'm going to lay out for you why you should concentrate on improving that paramount and personal ten percent. And if you concentrate primarily on that 10%, you can improve your game (life) up to 85%! Apply this lesson to any sport, at any level.
Let me first ask another question: Would you rather fight nine guys and let one go, or fight one guy and let nine go?
Now do this: Take four blank sheets of paper and a pen. Label one sheet "LET IT GO." Label another sheet "NOT LIKELY," and the third sheet "IN MY CONTROL."
Take the LET IT GO sheet first. List all factors of these sports that an athlete has no control over.
Ice skating (judges...)
Triathlon (weather...)
Football (referees...)
If something creates a debate, move it to the NOT LIKELY sheet. Now let's go there. List all factors of these sports that an athlete has only partial control over.
Volleyball...
Sprinting...
Golf...
Surfing...
For example, in tennis, you have under 30 seconds between serves. You can choose to slow the match down by using all the time, or speed up the pace by serving quicker. What you cannot do is take more time than the rule allows.
List factors of these sports that an athlete has total control over.
Boxing...
Basketball...
Hockey...
Now, take the fourth sheet of blank paper and put the name of your sport at the top. Now list the factors you cannot control, the factors you cannot likely change, and the factors within one hundred percent control. This is the list for your sport (and life). Work almost exclusively with the IN MY CONTROL factors you have listed--and add more.
Best equipment for you!
Best pre-game ritual for you!
Best stretching for you!
Best breathing technique for you!
Best short-term/long-term goals for you!
Best ways to control your emotions!
Best weight for you!
Best job for you!
Best spirituality for you!
Best life path--for you!
THE BEST YOU!
I was driving my 5-year old daughter and her friend. When we came to a red traffic light, they began chanting "Booble-lee-booble-la, fe-fish, fa-fish, three-two-one change!" But the light stayed the same. They did it again and again, as we continued to sit there and let the red light run its cycle. The little girls repeated that chant twelve times before the light turned green then they let out a small cheer.
You can control winning only slightly more than those little girls controlled the changing of the traffic light. You can control winning as much as you can control the noises in the world around you. You can control winning about as much as you can control your life.
Concentrate on the IN MY TOTAL CONTROL factors. Don't waste your life trying to change the traffic light from red to green.
It's really all we can do.
*Concepts for this column can be attributed to Bill Cole, Pres. Int'l Mental Game Coaching Assoc., www.MentalGameCoaching.com
EMAIL: athletewhisperer@gmail.com
YOU CAN ONLY CONTROL ABOUT 10% OF THE NOISES AROUND YOU.
Would you say:
YOU CAN ONLY CONTROL ABOUT 10% OF PEOPLE'S REACTIONS TO YOU.
Do you believe like I do:
YOU CAN ONLY CONTROL ABOUT 10% OF YOUR OWN LIFE.
And:
YOU CAN ONLY CONTROL ABOUT 10% OF YOUR SPORT.
I'm going to lay out for you why you should concentrate on improving that paramount and personal ten percent. And if you concentrate primarily on that 10%, you can improve your game (life) up to 85%! Apply this lesson to any sport, at any level.
Let me first ask another question: Would you rather fight nine guys and let one go, or fight one guy and let nine go?
Now do this: Take four blank sheets of paper and a pen. Label one sheet "LET IT GO." Label another sheet "NOT LIKELY," and the third sheet "IN MY CONTROL."
Take the LET IT GO sheet first. List all factors of these sports that an athlete has no control over.
Ice skating (judges...)
Triathlon (weather...)
Football (referees...)
If something creates a debate, move it to the NOT LIKELY sheet. Now let's go there. List all factors of these sports that an athlete has only partial control over.
Volleyball...
Sprinting...
Golf...
Surfing...
For example, in tennis, you have under 30 seconds between serves. You can choose to slow the match down by using all the time, or speed up the pace by serving quicker. What you cannot do is take more time than the rule allows.
List factors of these sports that an athlete has total control over.
Boxing...
Basketball...
Hockey...
Now, take the fourth sheet of blank paper and put the name of your sport at the top. Now list the factors you cannot control, the factors you cannot likely change, and the factors within one hundred percent control. This is the list for your sport (and life). Work almost exclusively with the IN MY CONTROL factors you have listed--and add more.
Best equipment for you!
Best pre-game ritual for you!
Best stretching for you!
Best breathing technique for you!
Best short-term/long-term goals for you!
Best ways to control your emotions!
Best weight for you!
Best job for you!
Best spirituality for you!
Best life path--for you!
THE BEST YOU!
I was driving my 5-year old daughter and her friend. When we came to a red traffic light, they began chanting "Booble-lee-booble-la, fe-fish, fa-fish, three-two-one change!" But the light stayed the same. They did it again and again, as we continued to sit there and let the red light run its cycle. The little girls repeated that chant twelve times before the light turned green then they let out a small cheer.
You can control winning only slightly more than those little girls controlled the changing of the traffic light. You can control winning as much as you can control the noises in the world around you. You can control winning about as much as you can control your life.
Concentrate on the IN MY TOTAL CONTROL factors. Don't waste your life trying to change the traffic light from red to green.
It's really all we can do.
*Concepts for this column can be attributed to Bill Cole, Pres. Int'l Mental Game Coaching Assoc., www.MentalGameCoaching.com
EMAIL: athletewhisperer@gmail.com
Friday, December 1, 2006
PARENTS AS PART OF THE TEAM
Take a look at the title of this discussion. It's not called "Parents As Assistant Coaches" or "Parents As Cheerleaders" or even "I Wanna Be Good At Sports Because My Mom or Dad Was."
It is estimated that 70% of kids who play organized youth sports quit by age 13. Of that 70%, most lose interest in the game, chose to follow other studies, or just plain tire of the routine.
Parents, do you want to know the very specific reasons kids get turned off by organized sports. Can you handle the truth?
Kids want to quit organized sports because. . .
-- they get lectured, criticized, or coached at home for their performances
-- they get constantly watched and judged by their parents during practice and games
-- they get talked to, or are constantly talked at about their sport
-- they get placed into upper levels when they're not yet ready
-- they aren't taught the larger life lessons of sports
-- they feel too much pressure with phrases like "This is a big game," or "There's a lot riding on this game"
-- they are taught winning is everything
These are just a few real reasons why talented young athletes end up resenting their sport. (Because kids will take it out on the sport rather than the parent.)
I want to present three suggested corrections for parents. I highly recommend adjusting your behavior according to these new rules of thumb:
#1. DO NOT GIVE STRATEGIC OR GAME-WORTHY ADVICE. That's why he/she has coaches.
#2. TALK ABOUT ALL THE OTHER THINGS GOING ON IN THEIR LIVES. Ask how he/she feels about those daily happenings. Veer away from sports specifics.
#3. STAY AWAY FROM THE FENCE! You all know what I mean. By not going to practices and games as much, you allow your child to mature on the field or court, without your supervision. Also, he/she will have more to talk to you about at home--and most significantly, he/she will talk in his/her voice. Do you realize the importance of that? They will retain the joy and excitement for the game, and you are allowing them that space.
Parents, while your child is practicing his/her sport, you practice these three new parenting approaches. It's win-win advice.
email: athletewhisperer@gmail.com
It is estimated that 70% of kids who play organized youth sports quit by age 13. Of that 70%, most lose interest in the game, chose to follow other studies, or just plain tire of the routine.
Parents, do you want to know the very specific reasons kids get turned off by organized sports. Can you handle the truth?
Kids want to quit organized sports because. . .
-- they get lectured, criticized, or coached at home for their performances
-- they get constantly watched and judged by their parents during practice and games
-- they get talked to, or are constantly talked at about their sport
-- they get placed into upper levels when they're not yet ready
-- they aren't taught the larger life lessons of sports
-- they feel too much pressure with phrases like "This is a big game," or "There's a lot riding on this game"
-- they are taught winning is everything
These are just a few real reasons why talented young athletes end up resenting their sport. (Because kids will take it out on the sport rather than the parent.)
I want to present three suggested corrections for parents. I highly recommend adjusting your behavior according to these new rules of thumb:
#1. DO NOT GIVE STRATEGIC OR GAME-WORTHY ADVICE. That's why he/she has coaches.
#2. TALK ABOUT ALL THE OTHER THINGS GOING ON IN THEIR LIVES. Ask how he/she feels about those daily happenings. Veer away from sports specifics.
#3. STAY AWAY FROM THE FENCE! You all know what I mean. By not going to practices and games as much, you allow your child to mature on the field or court, without your supervision. Also, he/she will have more to talk to you about at home--and most significantly, he/she will talk in his/her voice. Do you realize the importance of that? They will retain the joy and excitement for the game, and you are allowing them that space.
Parents, while your child is practicing his/her sport, you practice these three new parenting approaches. It's win-win advice.
email: athletewhisperer@gmail.com
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